I am so happy to review The Help, but I feel like I really don’t have to. Almost everyone who is interested has seen the movie or already read the book. I made sure to read the book BEFORE seeing the movie. So, since I have done both, I am going to compare.

The book is written from several points of view. The author does a great job putting you inside the mind of the maids and the well to do girl. The movie only gives you the view point of one of the maids, Aibileen, which made me sad because the other maid, Minny, and the well-off girl, Skeeter, really had good stories too and you just don’t get to experience as much of it.

The movie seems like it is telling a story of the book the movie is based on, but in the book it is clearly about the journey of a book being written within a book. book. book. Ok, so the last couple of books really weren’t necessary but that’s a lot of books in one sentence!

I love in the book how you get the story of Aibeleen’s son. He is really the inspiration for everything. In the movie, you just see him referred to a couple of times.

Ok, so all in all I really loved the book, but I also liked the movie a lot. Of course, I am glad I read the book first because the way I pictured people in my head was more “realistic” than how they were portrayed in the movie. It’s always hard to believe the movie when you already have a character imagined in your head!

Even my husband had nice things to say about the movie. So you know it was pretty good.

Usually, for my books, I offer them out, but this one I can’t. I have already promised it to a close friend. She lent us a book that we are still reading and so we are trading. I highly encourage you to find someone to pass on your used books too. It just makes the world a happier place.

And last but not least, I wanted to leave you with some of the most inspiring words that could ever be said. I pinned this on Pinterest… which is linked back to this blog.

Have you read any other good books lately? I am always on the lookout.

So recently, as I said yesterday I have been drinking unsweetened iced coffee with milk. It tastes so good and yet is the most confusing thing to order. Along with iced tea…

Here’s why….

I understand that un- is a prefix that means not… as in

“Do not bring him to Christmas dinner, he is unwelcome.”

Or perhaps,

“Hey! That’s unfair!”

Or even

“The unemployment rate is up.”

These all make sense to me: not welcome, not fair!, and the state of being not employed. And of course there is another form of -un and it is used to show that you need to reverse something, such as

“Can you untie my shoe?”

Or,

“I can’t get this unfastened.”

Heck, you can even “unlike” something you have liked on Facebook!

Here’s where I get confused. The uses of un- way up there are all adverbs and nouns. The uses such as untie and unfastened are verbs…. So if I say to “unsweeten” my tea… does that mean they take the sugar out (the only way I assume you can reverse sweetening it)? It clearly falls under the reversal use.

Why can’t we all just order tea or sweet tea coffee or sweetened coffee?  I should never have to use the word unsweeten to order anything.

That is all I have to say and I am stepping down now.

Please feel free to tell me I am completely wrong… or to give me another example I should add to my list of problems in the world!

Well, clearly my vision of keeping you in the loop with my diet didn’t really work out. This is the problem when combining things with the beginning of the school year. But I have great news for anyone that thinks this might be for them.

At the end of my 6 weeks, I had lost 28 pounds! How cool is that? I feel so different… lighter… beautiful… definitely more confident!

I am just here to tell you it can be done.

I am now in my 3rd week of the maintenance phase. This is when you add in more fats and proteins but you stay away from sugars and starches.

The original manuscript by Dr. Simeons tells you that you should not try to lose weight on your own after this diet. He says that this is because the fat stores you will be depleting will not help you.

My doctor said otherwise. She said you could actually stick with losing 1 pound a week (which is normal weight loss). So, even though I am not actively trying anymore to lose weight at this moment. I am down another pound. Yea for -29 pounds!!! I think this is because I am trying very hard to stick with only fats and proteins in my diet. Of course, fresh fruits and veggies are definitely allowed and honestly I find myself sorta missing something if I haven’t included those yet for the day.

Oh and one of my new favorites… iced coffee, unsweetened with whole milk… from Starbucks of course. I feel like my morning is empty if I don’t have one. I flavor it with a 4 drops of liquid Vanilla Stevia and 8 drops of liquid Chocolate Stevia. If you haven’t used this, then you should. I was so happy to be able to have milk in my diet. And even though I am happy for this new cooler weather, I am not particularly liking the brisk mornings. It makes wanting an iced drink difficult… and I know I could easily have a hot drink instead but I just don’t want to yet.

I wish overall I had before and after pictures to show you. The problem with that is I was unwilling to take pictures of myself before. Sad, I know, but I am truly happy now.

And if you need anymore proof… well I started this unwilling to buy a size 14 anything. I was busting out of my size 12s. Yesterday I tried on some size 8s and realized I really needed a size 6. And I bought them! Part of me wishes I could wear a sign pointing to myself with a big SIZE 6 on it. I know most people hope to be a size 2 or whatever, but I don’t. A medium shirt (let’s face it, i’ll never wear a small with these girls!) and size 6 pants sound perfect to me. And I can tell my husband likes it too.

Good luck to anyone else thinking about it and let me know if you have questions!

Perhaps writing once per day is not that essential. This diet is easy and hard.

It’s easy because there is an exact list of food choices. You just choose from the menu and make your meals.There isn’t a lot of extra “stuff” to think about once you begin. I know some diets keep you counting things and measuring things. By now, I pretty much can eyeball or count out my food. I still weigh my meat but I cook in batches so that doesn’t happen often.

It is hard because although I am not hungry for anything else… my mouth wants to chew or crunch on some textures it’s not getting at the moment. My Pinterest boards are full of yummy (good for your and bad for you) foods that I would love to try… a little at a time of course, once this is all finished. Not only am I not hungry for anything else. For the last 2 days, I haven’t even really been able to eat my fruit “dessert” after my meals.

It’s also hard because I can’t workout or do a lot of stuff. I am not tired, but I can sometimes feel that my body can’t do what it usually can. I was up at my school building a bookshelf and I basically had to give up because I couldn’t push these 2 huge pieces together. I will be very happy to gain back some strength. Also, I have noticed that my muscles are tightening up… which is actually normal as fat goes away… so I am having to stretch a lot. If you know me, then you know that stretching is so very hard. I can barely touch my toes… at times. Most times I can not even come close. This has been a problem since I was in 2nd grade even though I was active in dance and stuff. Who knows what the deal is, but I have noticed in my body proportions compared to other girls who are a few inches taller than me that my legs are the same length as their legs and my upper body is short and stumpy. Ha! That sounds so ridiculous to say now that it’s out there, but it’s true!

In other words, I am bored. I can’t eat and I can’t workout and those are 2 things that I hate to say this, but I love doing both. And since I can’t hardly do anything for an extended amount of time… I am doing small things. I have been cleaning a bit, cooking (duh!) and reading. I have also been Pinning, but I feel like I have seen it all by now! Ha! I have done some online shopping for my house and my classroom. I have played with the dogs, walked the dogs and taken a nap with the dogs. I am ready to do something active. Matt is out running and he wants to train for a 5k which is something I have been trying to get him to do for about a year… and he chose the time I can’t join in. (I think he did this on purpose because he prefers to workout alone.)

So here are my stats for the days. I am not going to give my food anymore, bc it is pretty much the same EVERY DAY! The only thing I switch out is how I’m cooking or what mix of spices I use.

Day 7

-.6 lbs/ overall -5.8lbs

Day 8

-.6 lbs/ overall -6.4 lbs

Day 9

-.6 lbs (do we see a trend?)/ overall -7.0 lbs
I have been doing a lot of research online and trying to find any other people that are doing/ have done this diet. A lot of people I have found are doing the drops. It seems like many people are successful, but I’m unsure this would be the best way to go. With my program, I check in with my doctor weekly. I have that support. They are treating tons of people and I can ask them questions about things I need to know. A lot of the nurses in the office, and even the doctor herself have done the hCG diet with the injections and have been successful keeping the weight off. This makes me reassured because they have tried it and I am getting my hCG from a reliable source. Also, (and this is one of the least reasons I chose to do this diet) I read an article in Woman’s Day or something like that about Dr. Oz and how his wife did this. Although he is still skeptical in general, his wife was successful. Do you think he would let her do it if he thought it was unsafe?  Also, he basically denounced the pill and drop form of this diet. A lot of people who are taking the drops are doing things that my doctor says don’t do… like workouts… which can cause ketosis which is basically where your muscles are breaking down… no thanks! Some people are eating more calories than the 500… which it clearly says in Pounds and Inches and my IAPAM booklet to NOT do. Also, some of the sites that sell hCG drops are saying that they are FDA approved. Let me just tell you that hCG is NOT FDA approved for weight loss. It has only been approved for reproductive problems in men and for women who have difficulty getting pregnant. There is also some hint at the fact that hCG doesn’t cause weight loss… but most people believe this to actually be talking about the homeopathic version… aka… the drops or the pills.

Well our internet didn’t work all weekend… and then all of a sudden just came on this morning during the time we had scheduled a technician to come out. Grrrr!!! I’m glad that it is working now, and I am glad I had quality time to be with my husband and spend time reading, but it was a startling when it shut down all of a sudden. I just wasn’t ready for it.

Anyhow, here are my foods and stats for Days 5 and 6.

Day 5

Stats: -1.8 lbs/ overall -4.6

Food for the day:

• B- 2 coffees
• L- Grilled Chicken with Jeff’s Southwest Rub, steamed spinach, Grissini breadstick
• S- apple
• D-Tilapia, asparagus, Melba toast
• S- grapefruit

Day 6

Stats:-.6 lbs/ overall -5.2 lbs

More importantly, this is the day where I first looked in the mirror and saw a bit of a difference. I’m not sure my friends or even my husband would notice these things but I can already see a difference. Also, a couple of items of clothing that I have been wearing (and probably shouldn’t) have been feeling a bit more roomy. I am starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I know this is silly for only having lost 5 lbs, but it is a HUGE step for me. I even went to a store yesterday that I absolutely love and was excited for the first time in…. well…. ever… to go shopping. Of course, I’m not going now, I’ll go when I am finished with this round of treatment.

Food for the day:

• B- 2 coffees
• L- Chicken, asparagus, Grissini breadstick
• S- orange
• D- Tilapia, tomatoes, Melba toast
• S- 2 decaf coffees with a tablespoon of milk (total)

Because I am posting 2 days today, I will just post a yummy recipe vs. telling some more information about this diet that you may be wondering. This is a meal that I really enjoyed and will continue to eat well after this is over. Also, I am definitely counting it as 1 of my 20 meals for my 30 Things .

Lemon Oregano Tilapia with Asparagus Packet

This was taken from my little IAPAM Protocol book.

Ingrediants

• 100g Tilapia
• 1 cup asparagus (equals about 12 spears)
• Juice of 1 lemon
• 1 tsp oregano
• Pinch of salt/pepper

Directions

Preheat oven to 400F. Tear off a large sheet of non-stick aluminum foil. In the center of the foil place asparagus spears and sprinkle with salt/pepper. Place fish on top of asparagus. In a small bowl, combine lemon juice and oregano, and pour over fish. Fold up edges and completely seal packet on all sides. Bake 7-10 minutes until fish flakes.

Now, here’s what I did different. 7-10 minutes just didn’t cut it. It was more like 20. The fish would not flake… and I even ruined 1 packet and had to transfer to another one. I’m not sure if the seal was not good or what, but it just took forever to cook. The next night, I made fish as well and I put it in for 18 minutes and then checked it. Still not flakey!

Overall, though this was a delicious meal!

To read about this journey from the beginning, go to the 1st day.

Wow! It’s already day 4. That feels so strange to me. This was only the 2nd day of low cal eating. Today I was a lot more successful than yesterday.

Stats: -2.8

(If you read the previous post then you will know that I am now down to below what I started at… even with the 2 days of eating whatever I want.) I know that this is mostly water weight but I don’t care. I’m just glad to see it go away! I am going to start posting my overall weight loss tomorrow, but I will also use my highest weight to do that from because in my little book that is also how it is recorded. They don’t really care what weight you started at… well they do, but for purposes of calculations… I am starting with yesterdays weight and working down.

Meals:

B- 2 coffees

L-Garlic chicken, grissini breadstick, spinach

Snack- apple

D- Chicken w/ Jeff’s Southwest Rub (Not sure who Jeff is or why this is HIS rub but it is delicious! I actually went ahead and grilled (on the George) all 4 of the remaining servings I have of chicken bc the spices made enough for probably 8 servings.) Spinach and melba toast.

Snack- Orange (mmmm… this orange was wonderful. I’m not sure how you feel about oranges but I usually love how they smell and then when I taste them, they always seem watered down. No likey! Not this orange, it was pretty much perfect and I hope it is not setting me up for disappointment for my next bazillion that I eat. I kinda wish I could re-eat this one again and again.)

Total calories for the day: 480 (For the record, I am trying to aim as close to 500 calories as possible, bc I desperately feel like I need those extra calories, but with the food choices, it isn’t really working out that way.)

I only felt a bit of hunger before dinner because (again) it took me too long to get it going after I started to get hungry. Also, this is really when I learned about the vegetables. I thought 1 vegetable is equal to 1 cup of itself…. always. Not true. I think you can pretty much have as much of the vegetable you choose as you want, within calorie restrictions. For lunch I made 1 cup… and then steamed it and had 2 bites of spinach. This is equal to 7 calories. For dinner, I still wanted spinach so I made 4 cups (equal to 28 calories) and felt much better about life in general.

Last night we also went swimming, which was fun for a while… until the lack of calories set in and I could tell I was out of energy.

Overall, I am looking forward to Tuesday when I get to do my real weigh in again and see my whole week of progress

So, I thought… at least for a while… I will hit on 1 issue of this diet for each post I make.

Today’s topic is Exercise!

This one is really hard for me. I have been going to the gym on a consistent basis pretty much all summer. I love it. It makes me feel good and if you read my first post about this diet, then you will know that I LOVE variety. I will probably never be a runner because I am easily bored with doing that every day. Even though, secretly, the idea of cross country running is very appealing to me. Why didn’t anyone push me to do this in high school?! Anyhow, on the hCG diet, you take in so few calories that you are not really allowed to workout. The book and doctors recommend you do 20 minutes of a brisk walk or the equivalent each day to keep your metabolism up… so at the end of this your metabolism is actually normal.

When I told the doctors that we take our dogs for a walk 2-4 times a day usually for about 20 minutes each… she told me I need to split it up to be about 20 minutes total. Ugh! Really?! So, I did take her advice though… sorta. And here’s the how and why:

In the mornings, the dogs and I go for a brisk 20 minute walk. This way I am sure that I got it in. Then, for the next walks, we sorta just go around this block in our apartment complex. It is not really long and we don’t walk fast. The whole thing takes anywhere from 10-15 minutes. To help you understand better, I wear my tennis shoes and workout clothes for the 1st one. For the others I usually just slip on my flip flops and whatever I have on will do. The first walk, I am usually sweating… and the others I am usually just hot (cuz it’s in the 100′s here. Duh!). So, yes, I am doing more than 20 minutes, but I don’t think I am pushing it.

Also, to get to my apartment, I climb a flight of stairs and to get to my bedroom, I climb another flight of stairs… so I know I am getting some leg muscle work done during this whole time. Usually I would not consider this to be much of a workout… unless I went up and down a zillion times, but just climbing 1 flight seems to leave me a little breathless right now.

Which brings me to the “why” part of the 20 minutes. That’s basically all I can do! I sorta feel very weak… but at the same time, I feel wide awake and with energy to spare. So essentially it is my body that is tired. This showed up yesterday when Matt helped me move 2 shelving units into my classroom. I could barely help him lift them after a while. I know he was frustrated, but I thought I was going to fall over. At one point, I tried to lift again thinking “ok, I can do this” and when I tried to give it everything I had, it didn’t budge. I felt so defeated! This is the part I am looking forward to leaving behind once the 1st 43 days are over. I would like to be a little bit more active and not feel out of breath just walking around.

I think a lot of people see this as a downside to losing weight this way. Especially when the WHOLE WORLD is telling you to be active and eat less to be healthy. That is fine. I see it as a down side as well. But I have SO MUCH weight to lose that I can not just sit around hoping to lose half a pound a week by limiting food and exercising. I am basically trying to start my body over. I am definitely craving exercise though. Matt and I talked about doing weight lifting instead of walking some days to make sure that I am keep my muscles (somewhat) in tact.

To read about this journey from the beginning, go to the 1st day.

Yesterday was the 1st day of my low cal diet.

It was pretty emotional. I expected to be hungry but I didn’t expect to be SO hungry SO fast!

By the time I was hungry and trying to make my lunch or dinner, I was starving. I don’t know about you but this makes me sorta light headed and not really able to focus. Usually, I just yell to the hubby. “I need a piece of bread NOW!” but seeing as how I can’t eat that right now, I had no choice but to start cooking.

Speaking of food… here’s what you get to eat on the diet protocol:)

Breakfast- 8 oz of water, tea or coffee in any amount (Use stevia, only allowed 1 tbsp of milk/day)

Lunch- 16 oz of water, 100g of meat (obviously chicken, white fish and extra lean beef), 1 veggie… there’s a whole list of ‘em, 1 Melba toast or Grissini breadstick, 1 fruit (apple, orange, strawberries, or grapefruit)

Dinner- same as lunch but try not to use the SAME as lunch.

You can also use the fruit from dinner and lunch as a snack in between.

So, what are my thoughts so far?

• Dang, 100 g of chicken is tiny.
• Ohhhhh…. 1 cup of veggies is not the same as 80z of veggies. (Think spinach!)
• Thank goodness for Melba toast. It has a great little crunch that I was craving.
• A great way to record my water intake (bc there isn’t one in the book) is to write 2 W’s throughout the day. Each \ of the W = 8 oz. So my book has a little thing that looks like this now: \/\/  \/\/
• I also chose to record whether or not I did my “brisk walk” or whatever for 20 minutes by simply recording a “20″ when I am finished.
• I can’t decide if I am hungry because I am hungry or if I am just missing the act of eating. Sounds weird but I think it’s true. I didn’t really do much yesterday. From now on I will stay busy.

Here were my meals from yesterday (water is a given):

Breakfast- 2 coffees

Lunch- Garlic Chicken Breast, cucumbers, melba toast

Snack- apple

Dinner- Baked tilapia and tomatoes, melba toast

Snack- strawberries

Total calories: 465

Stats so far: +1.4 lbs. (Duh! I just had 2 days of a fat binge)

To read about this journey from the beginning, go to the 1st day.

The second day is another eat however much you want and try to get in as much fat as possible.
This and the first day have been difficult because while being given permission to eat anything and everything… I haven’t really been craving that much. Of course! Any other day I would be wanting chocolate or ice cream or something but for some reason on these days, I just wasn’t feeling it.

I did ask Matt to take me out for sushi (yes, I realize not all that fattening) but I knew I wouldn’t have it for a while and would want it. I also went out and got a big coke in the evening so I could have that bubbly feeling. I don’t typically crave sodas but the thought of not having one pretty much ever again… made me really want to enjoy one for the last time. Of course, I did take them up on the pint of ice cream again… not so easy to eat this time… felt sorta sick at the end.

Hopefully I got enough “fat” in for the next couple of days because I am dreading a hunger headache!

This is probably one of the hardest posts I have ever written. No, no one died. Nothing is wrong with my marriage. But stuff is wrong with me… and it’s affecting my EVERY DAY life… meaning I basically don’t have one anymore. I’m not depressed, I’m just insecure.

I’m insecure about everything. My hair, the way I look, my clothes. Nothing seems to work or be how I want it anymore. It’s not because I’m getting old… it’s because I’m getting fat fatter.

There… I said it. You know they say that the biggest part of the hurdle to solving your problems is admitting that you have one. Well, I admitted my problem… so things better move swiftly after this. I don’t want to hide in my house anymore and pretend that I am doing important things while all my friends are at the pool or having a great time just hanging out and being girls. I can’t go because I don’t have a swimsuit that fits anymore and most of my clothes don’t fit or at least I don’t like the way they fit.

It is probably due to stress… my job as a teacher is stressful. I work at a school with a competitive atmosphere and super high expectations. It’s enough to make anyone crazy and while I love my job, I feel like it is definitely helping my health go out the door. “But, it’s summer,” you say. Great, it’s summer. It takes a long time for stress to work itself out of your body. And 9ish months of packing on the stress is not going to fully go away in 2ish. Especially when you spend most of that time away from your friends hiding out in a move, projects around the house and a part time job. Especially when all of your friends were blessed with high metabolisms or petite little frames that make you feel more like a hippo than a human. Especially when you decide it doesn’t matter what you eat or if you eat because either way you are still going to be fat. The funny thing I figured out last night while sitting at happy hour with my friends is that I don’t feel the pressure from them. I hope (and truly feel) that they honestly love me for who I am as a person and not what size jeans I can fit into. In reality, it’s all in my head. This I know, and understand, but just can’t get past.

It is also probably due to genetics. I am fighting a huge uphill battle here. I come from a family of women that are super curvy and well endowed. Some women have great fortune in being from a hip-py family, or a boob-y family, or even a like-big-butts-and-I-cannot-lie family. Well, my family was blessed with all 3. And while I love that I am curvy… I only want to be curvy… not loopy as in the one BIG loop that I am forming into.

So, this summer I have been staying pretty active. We moved to an apartment and one of the reasons was so we would walk our dogs every day and not just throw them out in the yard. This has been wonderful! I love to spend this time with my husband and my pups! But it is not enough for me. I have also been going to the gym. Most days I do 2 hours of workouts. You probably want to yell at me because I am overdoing it, but it’s not how it sounds. I usually do 2 different classes. Weights and cardio, or cardio and yoga/pilates, or a cardio in the morning and then one in the evening. I am someone who gets bored easily by doing the same workout every day, so I just make sure to get a little variety. I usually go to the classes at 24 because I (can’t believe I’m saying this) compare myself to all the other women in the class and tell myself that if all these other women can do this and are strong, then so am I. It is definitely motivation to keep going. If there isn’t a class that I like that day then I will at least hop on the treadmill and walk/jog 3-3.5 miles. I don’t know why, it’s just the magic number that I like. I feel like it’s doable, pushes me and at the end after some rest, I would be willing to go again the next day.

I’ve tried to regulate eating and did pretty good for about 3 weeks. I lost 2 pounds… not really excited about putting in 14 hours a week working out and eating healthier than a rabbit for only 2 pounds. I know you’re thinking, well, honey, that’s just the way it is. Just keep working hard and you will get there. But 2 pounds is not motivation. Especially since after 1 birthday weekend, I gained 3. Stupid eating crap food! (this is what my brain yells to me on the inside…)

So I finally hit a wall. I just can’t do this anymore. I am also tired of having no energy and no motivation to go in public. These are things I love about life. I want to be carefree, able to do anything at any time. Nowadays it takes me at least an hour to get ready. I have to run through all my insecurities over and over until I convince myself that today is the day to be brave and to just go and you will have a good time. Every time I go… I have a great time. Every time I stay home, I regret not going. I don’t want to regret my life. I want to live my life. I just have to step out of my own head sometimes to do it. Besides all that. The point of starting this blog with my list of 30 things was to stay motivated and achieve them. Since stating that I wanted to lose 30 pounds… I have gained 13… not so helpful!

In the past I have tried a light running program and boot camps and I always end up getting hurt. I have so many things wrong with my body and they are ALL related to weight. ALL OF THEM. So anytime I try to actually do something good, because I am not healthy enough, I end up making it worse and then I give up on myself… again. The funny thing is that despite all the problems and doctors I have seen, no one has even once mentioned that I should probably lose some weight. NOT A SINGLE ONE! It is a very hush hush topic and as I look around me 24/7 where ever I am, I realize there is a reason for this. Almost the whole population could stand to lose a bit. That’s right, I said it. We all eat what is probably the most unhealthy food in human history and we sit around on computers and barely move and we expect to stay thin… or at least thinner than fat. I guess doctors have to make sure patients feel good and can’t go around sounding off about everyone’s weight because that would just make people mad… especially people who don’t want to change. But I feel like I’m dying on the inside. And I do a lot better when someone in a position of authority gives me an ultimatum.

So, I took over. I researched, I read, I talked to a doctor and I decided. I gave myself an ultimatum. This is a huge deal for me. I don’t typically just fall into a fad diet. Yeah, that’s right… I’m not millions of Americans that fall in and out of fad diets. I usually try to just eat healthy and move… it’s just not enough at this point. I have done Weight Watchers at one time, lost quite a bit and then regained it all back. I also went through a boot camp program last summer, lost a little bit, got bored to tears and then gained it all back… plus a lot more. I do not want to regain. I do not want to live like this. I want to start over and relearn how to eat, what to eat and why I am eating.

So here’s the big reveal. Are you ready? I’m doing the hCG Diet. I will now give you a moment to peruse the vast amounts of information on the link provided.

Ok, are you back with me? Most people probably think this is cheating, or stupid or whatever. You can think what you want. I am not making anyone do this. I am doing it on my own to find a better me. I feel like this is a way to lose weight quickly so I can start over. I also feel like this is a healthy way to lose the first chunk of weight I need to lose more than 2 pounds at a time so that I don’t give up. It is doctor supervised. And, I have a lot of helpful information, food choices and even recipes to get me through.

My hopes in posting about these next 43 days is that I help just one person out there in the same boat. There isn’t a whole lot of talk about the hCG diet as far as people’s experience so I would love this to be a place where people can find information about a real person who has done this. I wish I had seen this at times in my life that were really important. One of them being before I was married. Most people love to look at their wedding pictures… I hate mine. Not because the photography isn’t stunning… our photographer was the best and made me feel incredibly beautiful, but when I look at those pictures. I want to hide under a rug. I look hideously fat. I can’t believe that everyone spent that day looking at me and didn’t want to throw up. That and all the immediate family drama about that day make me so thankful that we didn’t do a big wedding and that a marriage is about a whole lifetime and not one day. Don’t get me wrong. The emotions and memories of that day are mostly good, but the pictures will mostly be hidden because of the shame I feel. Also, I am so tired of untagging myself in people’s facebook photos. If I could, I would take them down altogether. But they aren’t mine… so I just untag so that when someone is looking at photos of me… they don’t happen upon photos of fat me.

I started yesterday, and I told myself that this is the beginning of the rest of my life. Seriously, I am not kidding. I needed help and I found it by way of my GP who really took the time to sit down and listen to all that I had to say and all that I wanted out of this life. She gave me some different ideas to research and this one kept coming to the forefront. I went in to the doctor yesterday and got started. Here’s what it entailed:

Day 1

• Fast until after your doctor appointment.
• Fill out paperwork and consent forms. The usual.
• Get blood drawn to test and make sure you are healthy enough to do this whole thing.
• 2 shots. 1 of B vitamin complex and another one of some vitamins and a fat burner. (Get ready because while getting the shots aren’t all that bad, the 1st one burns for about 15 minutes and the 2nd one starts burning a couple hours later and doesn’t give up for a while. I took a smallish nap or 2 during that time.)
• Learn to give yourself daily injections by giving your first one. (Oh, this one was almost a deal breaker for me. I have an intense fear of needles and even the nurse seemed a little unsure I would actually be able to do this when she saw my reaction to having blood drawn. Usually the nurse makes me lie down because I turn white… or so I’m told. But, I am happy to say that I did it and even though it took me sniveling through, I got it done… about 10 minutes later. And truly… not so bad. The needle is so small that I could barely feel the prick and actually injecting yourself… not so bad…. not that I plan to make a habit of it… at least after the next 40 days.)
• Get a little booklet from the doc all about what you can and can’t do. The booklet is from the International Association for Physicians in Aesthetic Medicine and is titled, IAPAM hCG Protocol Patient Handbook. Besides all the rules are lots of recipes and a place for me to record food, weight, and even your bowel movements (oh joy!) and mood if you prefer.
• Snicker at the fact that they refuse to use the word diet.
• Get your weigh on! (This little ticket prints out that tells you your BMI, different muscle and fat statistics, where you are and according to your height, the average recommendations of where you should be. To be in the average I would need to lose a good 45 pounds. Even though this seems scary to me… I am glad to finally see a real number that I agree with.)
• Go eat all the fattiest food that you’ve ever craved. (You have 2 days to eat whatever you want. They ask that you eat lots of high fat and warn against a week long headache if you don’t get the most fat in that you can in the next 2 days. Some of the suggestions for these days are Twinkies, pints of ice cream, and all the fast food you can handle. I know… gross. But I did take them up on their pint of ice cream recommendation.)

Yesterday, I am proud to say that I had Chick-fil-a with fries and a peach shake… always wanted to try one but with something like 750 calories in one I always said no. For dinner I wasn’t so hungry and just ate chicken tacos from a restaurant with fries. I also had 2 alcoholic drinks… can’t drink once the diet starts for sure so the doc said to drink away… not really but you know what I mean. After dinner I had my pint of caramel ice cream. Delish!

Today, I plan to go shopping for some good for me food. Fill up on fats, and get ready for tomorrow. I’m gonna try to check in regularly so that I can keep you up to date with what I think works, doesn’t work and where I am with the progress I am making.

I love all positive comments. Please let me know if this is something you have done or are considering. Or anything else helpful you have found. I know everyone has their opinions which is why I am honestly putting myself out here for others to hopefully see that this can be done.

Well, I’ve had a pretty busy summer. That’s mostly why I haven’t been back to my blog. The other reason is because I haven’t been super inspired to write… well, here and there I am, but then I forget about it by the time I sit down. Here’s a little bit about my summer so far.

We moved during the whole month of June. Well, we started around the middle of June and worked right up until the 29th.

In July, we have been setting up the new house… sorta. We do small things but honestly, we still have so much stuff… I have no idea where it’s all gonna go.

Other than that, I have been doing a little training for school stuff and going to the gym… but that’s pretty much all for my everyday life… oh and working at The Container Store every now and then too.

We did get to go on 1 great adventure. We headed to Kerrville for a friend’s 30th birthday party. It was so much fun. I have been friends with her since high school so the group that went included 4 of us from high school and our significant others… as well as some of her other friends. We lucked out on getting to stay in some cabins that were basically free. And everyone paid $20 to a pot for all the food and supplies we would need while there. The cabin was hotter than ever at night, but we managed to get through. One day, we headed to Fredricksburg and did a little shopping. Some people did a wine tasting, but Matt and I chose to have a little alone time… and sorta went shopping on our own instead. That night, we threw a big birthday bash back at the cabin. It was tons of fun and you could just feel the love in the air. I made a cake and cupcakes for the event, but they were sorta ruined… more on that later. But in the end it was a great night. The next day we went down to the river… the Guadalupe that is, and just sat around for pretty much the whole day. It probably doesn’t sound like too much fun but it was a blast. The guys all played with these little toys that we bought and the girls all tubed back and forth.

Oh, funny story. The 2 toys were stuck in a tree within about 5 minutes, so when I say they played with toys the whole time, they really tried to get them down. One came down after a while but the other one was actually hanging from a fishing line that was stuck in the tree… you couldn’t even see the line if you were at the right angle… so it looked like it was just stuck mid fall! Anyhow, the guys had been trying for a couple… make that a few hours when they thought maybe they could  find big rocks to hurl at it and the line would break or it would be enough force to bring it down. They did this while all the girls sorta stood back and watched. But I guess we weren’t too far back because 1 rock slipped backwards from this guys hands and almost took one of my friends out. The rock was sorta flat and pointed, but as big as her head. We decided then, that we should stop and then, as if God was playing a joke on us and decided as well that we had enough… especially since someone was almost seriously hurt, the little toy landed in the water. It was the strangest thing. Come to find out that someone had hit it just barely before and it was enough to make it fall, but not immediately. Well, none of us knew this at the time so we were laughing so hard.

Here you can see 3 of us just hanging out while Matt goes to town trying anything and everything to get that toy down.

So that just reminded me that something else happened that was nothing short of a miracle. While at the river, and while trying to get the 1st toy down, Matt’s sunglasses fell off his head while he was looking up into the tree. He didn’t catch them in time and couldn’t find them on the ground because the water was very murky. After feeling around for a while, he just gave up. But then we noticed these kids all had snorkle masks and goggles on (the same kids that had been annoying us by jumping in and splashing us the whole time) so someone asked if they could try and find it. One of my friends even offered the toy if we got it down. Immediately, all the youngsters where diving down and trying to find it. Before long, one of them came up with the sunglasses and it was so cute because Matt went over and hugged them and thanked them. So that’s not really the miracle…

Later on, one of the other guys was throwing the toy back and forth and his wedding ring fell off. Oh my! This sorta sent everyone into a panic. Everyone was trying to feel around in the area for it with their feet but honestly, all hope was gone. The kids were around and one of them noticed that we were trying to find something else and then a friend offered all the cash she had if they could find it. Once more, they all dove down and were looking around and I kid you not, within 30 seconds, one of the little girls came up with it in her hand. It was INSANE! The wife of the guy that lost the ring broke into tears and everyone was cheering. My friend went to her bag and got all the cash… $22! Ha! She gave it to the little kids and they were so happy. Of course we all were. Now we have this little joke about how the girl that paid the $22 actually owns the ring. That night, the guy said he would give her $50 if she would never mention it again and she thought for a minute…. and declined the offer. This is definitely something that we will be talking about at future birthdays and get togethers.

I have such a great time with my friends. It’s always good to see them and it reminds me of the good ole days when we were running around Houston causing all sorts of trouble… ok not really, but we did have a lot of fun back then too. I wish it were possible for us to all live closer, but I like that we see each other sorta regularly and get to enjoy being around for the important events… like weddings and 30ths!

Here we all are with some serious mustache faces. Mustaches are like hats and ice cream... they just make everything better!